Thoughts on Life

So it's finally here. Tonight I am going to the hospital. I can't believe that I am about to push a new life into this world. I'm pretty sure God is laughing at me right now! He has a funny sense of humor. As I'm writing this, I can see my husband and my 3 year old daughter cuddled up in "his chair". I have never been so in love like I am right now. My husband is an amazing man. I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for him. Then there is the love I feel for my daughter. Wow! I can't even process it all. It's true when they say that when you have kids you wear your heart on your sleeve. I don't know how to explain it. It's definitely a different kind of love. It's how I imagine that God loves us. Unconditionally. And then, theres the child that is waiting to meet her new family. I know I will love her just as much. I can't help but wonder why God chooses who he chooses to have children. There are so many people out there who would make an amazing mom or dad and for whatever reason, God hasn't called them to be parents. What makes me so qualified? I can't help but ask myself that everyday. I am blessed to have healthy children, a husband who loves me like none other, parents who are still in love and alive. I have so many blessings and I'm not sure I deserve them. I am very thankful just not sure that I'm deserving. I don't know. These are just thoughts in my head as I wait for 9pm to come around.