Footsteps

The day we had "all that snow" I was able to be home a little longer than normal and I got to help get Abigail ready for Nanna's house. I woke her up and told her I had a surprise for her. We walked over to the window and opened the blinds. The look on her face when she saw all the snow. She was sooo excited! So of course, we got out the snowsuit. We were all ready to go and she looked up at me and said "Mommy, can I walk in your footsteps?" She was talking about in the snow b/c she thought it was too deep for her. With tears in my eyes I said, "Of course you can"

When I was looking for a picture to post with this particular blog, I came across a video of her playing in her Johnny Jump-Up. Not even old enough to talk and now, here she is, 3 years old and not only talking and walking but teaching me life lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I think about the times when I feel like the snow is so deep and I just look to God and say those same words... Can I walk in your footsteps b/c I'm afraid it's just too deep. Being a mom is one of those times. When she tests me and I'm ready to explode. When I feel overwhelmed with everything I have to do, with her at my side and a husband at work all night. Even the wonderful, amazing stuff when I feel like my heart is just going to explode. Then I think about her growing up one day and then she's gone. Did I do a good job raising her? Is she safe where she is right now? What kind of influences are in her life? Again, I will have to look to God and say, It's a little deep right now... would you mind if I once again walk in your footsteps.

I feel so blessed to learn all the lessons that I have already and I welcome the ones to come. So, anytime my daughter says, "Mommy, can I walk in your footsteps?" I will look at her say, "of course, sweetheart, anytime you need to" and then say a silent prayer that God will layout his footsteps for me to follow so I can lead my daughter.

First NFL Game

This past weekend, Dale and I had a chance to get away for the weekend. He had gotten tickets from his Brother, Tim, to go see the Colts play. It was perfect for us b/c he got to see an NFL game and I got to be in the city. We had a blast! We stayed at a Bed & Breakfast that was fabulous. It was cozy and sweet and the breakfast was sooo good. We were able to go to the Slippery Noodle on Saturday night. The SN is a blues club that apparently is the hot spot of Indy. The music was amazing. I could have listened to that musician sing and play all night. Dale and I found a spot in the back corner where we sat and talked and listened to music. It was so nice to connect with him. Just to be able to talk and look at him with no interuptions. Sunday morning, we headed out to meet some friends of ours who were going to the game with us. The game was sooo cool! It was the first NFL game for all of us so we were pretty excited. We are also very excited about the fact that the stadium is indoor! :) The row behind us was the very last row. There was no more going up. It was kinda scary going up that far but totally worth it. It was so much fun to see the players interact with each other and the crowd before the game. There was even a proposal on the field. Awww, how sweet... Anyway, we totally kicked the Bengals butt all the way home. It was sad actually.

We had such a great time and I think we are going to make it a tradition every year to go back. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect weekend. Oh yeah, I lost my phone Saturday night at the mall. I was pretty upset about it and when we were leaving to head out of the city, Dale got a phone call saying they found my phone. Someone turned it in. How lucky did I get with that! I almost cried I was so excited.

I can't wait to do it all again. It was perfect and I know Dale and I both were way overdue for a break. It's amazing what a little bit of alone time can do for a relationship.

Rambling Words...

So today, I was thinking (no comments please) about the little things that could set someone off on a bad day. It all started when I had to get a new role of toilet paper. You know how you have to first find where it starts and then it gets all torn up while you try to unravel that first sheet. I don't know how many times I have had a bad day and then toilet paper is what sets me off!

Also, today, I decided that I was going to dye my own hair. I can't afford to go to a professional right now so I made my way to Sally's, picked out a color, and of course, called my best friend. Who better to help me change my hair color. Well, last time I tried to "fix" my hair myself, the blonde streaks that were left turned green. I was pregnant. I swore I would never do my own hair again. So, here I am, pregnant... again, blonde streaks that are down to my ears, and buying hair dye. Yay! This is going to be great! I picked a blonde color so my streaks would blend in and thought I would surprise my husband (he likes it when I'm blonde) So Ally (best friend) comes to my house (after she bought me a birthday dinner... thank you!) and off we went. We put the dye in, wait, check on the kids, wait some more and then it was time...
Rinse, Blowdry, and Voala! I am now a red head. Not sure what happened there but at least the streaks are now gone. No more doing my hair myself. Maybe one day I will learn.

Oh yeah, and my daughter pooped in her underwear... twice... in 30 minutes. That story is for another night. A night when I will be able to sit down with a glass of wine and laugh all about it.

For My Mom...

Tonight I had the great opportunity to go to the Girlfriends Unlimited-November Bash. First of all, if my birthday on Monday completely bombs... tonight will totally make up for it! I had a blast. I left work thinking that I wish I didn't have to go and I am so glad that I did. I really needed it, that's for sure! Anyway, during the amazing worship service, I was looking around and seeing all the women that had come out who were worshiping and laughing and having such a great time and I realized that it has now been 11 years that we (The Scott Family) have been at Harmony. Wow. I see all the things that God is doing through my parents and all the staff and volunteers. However, this one is for my mom. She has allowed God to work through her with the women's ministry and it is so important. Women need women. I can't say it enough. We need those relationships. I don't know anyone who better describes a true woman than my mother. Her compassion, her patience, her willingness, her determination. I could go on and on. She has taught me the importance of friendships with other women and how to also treat other women. Delicately. She has taught me to listen to other women when they need listening. To give Godly advice, only when advice is needed. And most importantly, she taught me how to just be a friend to another woman. Thank you, mom. I love you!

slight giggle

This is for those of you who know my daughter. I like to call this one "Things that disappear quickly are very humorous!"

Imagine this...

Sitting on a king size bed working on your computer.
3 year old daughter in green pj's jumping around.
You keep saying "you are going to get hurt".
You see something green fly off the bed and disappear.
Slight giggling comes from your own mouth.
You then see a head appear quickly over the bed
3 year old informs you that she is ok.
"See mommy, I didn't get hurt"

You are your father's child!

Ughh...

Last weekend, I got the chance to go to a babyshower for a girl I new and haven't seen for 10 years. I was really nervous about going for a lot of reasons but mostly b/c 10 years is a long time and people change. It ended up being a very nice shower and she was happy to see me. She looked so great and seemed to be doing well. The shower was held at the church my dad preached at for 7 years. When we moved, I had just turned 16, 3 days before. Needless to say, I was not happy about it. I have been back a few times over the years but for some reason, this particular trip was the hardest. There were a few other people there that I got to see and talk with. We caught up on family news and what we have been doing which is always nice. After the shower officially started, I realized that I felt so out of place. We had to go around the room and talk about how we knew the mom-to-be. Everyone there was family or close friends. She and I were "close friends" at one point. I know better than anyone that you can "never go back" but the shower really brought that home for me. I moved away and life continued on. As it should. But then I couldn't help but wonder, was it just as hard for them as it was for me? Was I a "good enough" friend that they missed me as much as I missed them? Why do people lose touch? And then, why do we feel the need to go back and think it's going to be ok?

On my way home, all the feelings I had 10 years ago as I was leaving Louisville for the final time, with my room packed up and my friends in the rearview mirror, the feelings came back. I felt like I was 16 all over again. It was so overwhelming. How does the heart not litterally break and how do you get over it? You finally get to the point where you are not bitter and 10 years of healing are gone in one day. At least it feels that way. Thankfully, along the way, God put strong, couragous people in my life to help me realize that life does not stop at a stand still so you can stay in your "happy place". It's ok to visit, I guess, but is it ok to avoid something just to keep from getting hurt. Isn't getting hurt part of what makes us grow? Personally, spiritually, even professionally. If that's the case then I should be fully grown with no more lessons to learn! Ha!

Anyway, I just felt the need to talk about it. Whatever. It is what it is.

I Couldn't Do It!

So today, something interesting happened to me. I was having such a stressful day and really feeling like I was not going to make it through. I'm pretty sure I almost didn't! Anyway, I had to call one of the Newspaper companies we were doing an ad with. So I call and a woman answered the phone and I asked for a man (the contact I had written down). After I asked for him, the woman said, "He's dead". I was speechless. I really thought that she was kidding. After a few seconds of akward silence, I said, "are you serious?" She said yes and that she was his wife and then asked if there was anything she could help me with. I told her I was sorry and asked if there was anything we could do for her. She started talking to me a little bit and she had the attituted of 'it is what it is'. She sounded so angry. Anyway, she transferred me to the man who has taken his place and I spoke with him and took care of business. I was a little shocked. Still am. Who just says "He's dead"? Then I started thinking, she has probably had to repeat that phrase over and over again. I don't think that I could do it. It would be hard enough to go to work where my spouse and I worked together but then to answer the phone and have to tell people that he is gone. She is probably numb now. I wish I could do something for her but what is there really to do. Not much. I will say a prayer. He hasn't even been gone a month.

I found out later that the man was only 26 years old and died from complications from a motorcycle accident.

Hope

Ok, well, I am really going to put myself out here and just be straight forward and honest and say what I think. I want to first say that if you are reading this and you do not know me, then please, do not judge me. This election has really gotten to me. I have said from the beginning that Obama scares me, and it is NOT b/c he is black. Some of the things that he stands for I do not agree with. His stand on abortion. His thoughts on the coal industry. The fact that he attended a church for 20 years and all of sudden the preacher supposedly changes his views. I could go on but I am going to stop there. When I found out that he is the next elected President, my heart dropped and all of a sudden I felt an overwhelming sense of fear. Some say he is the antichrist. Some say he is the messiah. I don't know how I feel about that but the fact that so many people "worship" this man already, scares me. I really don't see how this is going to be good. I found myself getting lost in the thoughts of what could happen and I realized that, I am not in control. Anyway that I look at it. I'm not in control. Then I realized that I am going to have to rely on faith and hope in a big way to get through this.

Sometimes I think that God does things on purpose to remind us that He is still here. We get so caught up in our everyday lives and we, at least I know I do, forget who is really in control. God created me. He watches over me. He will take care of me. It scares me to say the "Let your will be done" prayer b/c God is a mighty God and He can do alot... good or bad. So my prayer is that He gives me the strength, knowledge, wisdom, and compassion that I need for whatever is ahead... good or bad.

I heard this song on the radio a couple of weeks ago and for the last three days, it has been stuck in my head. I think that God is trying to remind that I am HIS. Not the governments or anyone else's but HIS. That thought alone comforts me and this song talks about that. I looked up the words to post so they can be read. I hope they do the same for you that they have for me.


Hope Now
If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

(PRE-CHORUS)
I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

(CHORUS)
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

(PRE-CHORUS)
I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

(CHORUS)
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

(CHORUS 2)
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
You've become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

New Blogger

Well, this is the first time I have ever blogged. For those of you who find this and read it, I should tell you first of all that I am not very good at writing (unlike my dad-the pro) but I do write music and I hope that blogging will help in the creativity of my music. Second, I would like to apologize for anything I write in the next 6 months that doesn't make any sense or seem a little hormonal. I am pregnant and going into my 2nd trimester and moods are flying all over the place!

I am very excited about this new adventure. I feel like my world is completely changing right now and I am so ready for it. I deleted my myspace page, I am trying to de-stress my life, my family and I are trying to move, and I am just done with stupid pointless things in life. I am ready to take time for myself and stop worrying about the things in life that I cannot control. I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter that needs my attention and to be honest, she deserves the best of me, not what is left when everyone else is done getting whatever it is that they think they need from me. I am getting ready for another child to come into my world and right now, that is the only thing I am concentrating on. I love my friends, I like my extra curricular activities, and I'm ok with my job but they are all going on the back burner. My family comes first.

I have always been the type of person to keep myself as busy as possible. I don't know if I'm trying to run from something or if it truly is boredom but I have eliminated everything from my life that does not involve my family (except for the praise team-which is another blog for another time) and I hope that blogging will help me figure some things out in my life and help me to just calm down and enjoy everyday that God gives me.

I know I have rambled on and I think I am done now. I don't really have a particular 'theme' to go by; just things that I encounter every day. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I promise to not ramble on in all my blogs... I am a little nervous about this so just bare with me! :)