7.7.77

Every year, July 7th comes around and every year, I get excited about celebrating my husbands birthday. The problem is, he does not get as excited as I do about it. You see, when my birthday comes around, I want a week long celebration. It's a day to get excited about. It's his birthday!

I just want him to know that I am excited about celebrating the day he came into this world. Had he not been born, I would never had the amazing opportunity to meet him. To marry him. To have his beautiful children. I wouldn't get the chance to say what an amazing father he is to our two fascinating daughters. Or how much fun I have when it's sunday night and we are all sitting in the living room watching the disney channel, for 3 hours, before we realize that WE are the adults and have the power to change the channel. Or how my heart completely melts and breaks at the same time when I look over and see Abigail asleep, cuddled up in his lap. Or how when we lay in bed at night and I get nervous wondering if he still likes me.

I know he hates to have his birthday made out to be a big deal but I can't help but to be excited about the day he was brought into this world. I just wanted to share these thoughts with those of you who read this blog and, of course, to the love of my life. Life is a beautiful reason to celebrate and what better way to celebrate than with those who love you!

Happy Birthday Dale. I love you more than you will ever know! My prayer is that you have a wonderful day and know that you are surround by people who appreciate and love you.

Conversations With Abigail, 01

Abigail: Mommy, why are girl boobies bigger than boy boobies?

Mommy: Well, girls have hormones (what was I thinking telling my 4 yr old that?)

Abigail: What are hormones?

Husband: Can I try this one?

Mommy: [thinking: I can't wait to hear this]

Husband: Girl boobies are bigger b/c that is how they feed the babies. Only girls can do that, not boys.

Abigail: [lifts up shirt to look at her own chest. looks over at mommies chest.]

Abigail: Oh, ok.

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Abigail: Mommy, did you know there is a man on the moon?

Mommy: There is? How did he get there?

Abigail: Jesus put him there.

Mommy: Why is he there?

Abigail: He drives the moon away when the sun comes out.

......................................................................................................................................

Abigail: He pees funny.

Mommy: What?

Abigail: He has a tail with a hole in it and when he lets go, pee comes out.

Mommy: WHAT?!

......................................................................................................................................

Abigail: Mommy, when Tori came outside she looked beautiful.

Mommy: Did you tell her that?

Abigail: No... I wanted to but I was just too shy.

Mommy: Why were you too shy? You love Miss Tori.

Abigail: I didn't want to get embarrassed.

Mommy: How do you know if you are embarrassed?

Abigail: When your eyebrows go up, that means you are embarrassed.

Mommy: ok.

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Abigail: Mommy, did I have a big sister too when I was little?

Mommy: No honey, you are the first born. So am I. We have that in common. That is why I get sad that you keep growing bc one day you are going to be big and I won't be able to hold you anymore.

Abigail: I tell you what mommy, when I grow up, we can still play together. But we have to get grown up toys.

Mommy: What are grown up toys?

Abigail: hmmm, lawnmowers and weedeaters...

Mommy: That sounds like daddy's toys, what about mommy's toys?

Abigail: You like to watch tv.

Mommy: Well what about the washing machine and dryer (i was doing laundry during this conversation)

Abigail: That's not play mommy, that's work!

Mommy: Oh, so you think when daddy is working in the yard that he is really playing?

Abigail: yeah mommy!

To The Headley-Whitney Girls (and the really creepy guy)

This picture was taken on my first day of my new job after leaving the Headley-Whitney Museum. I worked at the museum for a year and during that time, I met some pretty fabulous women. Slightly weird and a little clumsy but each very unique in their own way and like I said, fabulous!

Tonight, I attended a going away party for two of those fabulous girls. They are both heading off to grad school. One to New York and the other to Florida. I am so proud of these girls and I know that they are going to go very far and they are going to leave a legacy for their friends and family.

I was already at the museum when both girls were hired and had the wonderful opportunity to work with them for almost a year. I remember the first time I met Amanda. I felt a little intimidated by her b/c she seemed so well put together and like she had it all figured out. Then I got to know her. LOL! What a joy it has been to be able to say that I am friends with THIS GIRL! I have never laughed so hard in my life with her stories and quirky ways. I'm sure she doesn't know this but she brought the kid out in me and taught me to be free and to live life now. Thank you Amanda for being the wonderful, quirky person that you are. Do not ever change.

Then there is Jessica. I don't even know where to start with this girl. Maybe I will start by saying that she needs to be in a bubble! I have never met anyone in my life who gets hurt in the strangest ways as this girl (if you are reading this, know I love you!) Jessica started out as part time and I will always be able to remember what she looks like by her eye makeup. She truly is an artist and I aspire to be as talented as her... but on a computer :) I am convinced that this girl can do anything she puts her mind to. I have seen her in action in putting an exhibit together and I stand back and think 'wow, I would be pulling my hair out right now if I was her'. Jessica has taught me to be creative with what I have and make it work.

My time at the museum created some of the best memories I have. I'm sure this goes without saying but lunch time was my favorite. We would all eat lunch together and it never failed, Amanda ALWAYS had a great story! Finally, someone else with tons of stories to share. We would laugh until we peed and even got in trouble for laughing too loud. I truly am surprised that Jessica never fell out of her chair during these times.

Amanda & Jessica, I am so proud of both of you. I'm only about 10% jealous and 90% happy for you :) I really do wish the best for you both and if you ever feel overwhelmed and that you just can't do it anymore, whatever that may be, read this blog or call me and I will remind you of how fabulous you are while the sound of screaming children ring in the background, that is of course, before I lock them in the closet :)

Keep the memories, store them away, and then, one day, when you need a smile, bring them out and laugh while visions of George (or creepy man) dance in your head.

to my dad

Most of the people who will read this know about my relationship with my dad. We have had our ups and downs and now that I am an adult, we have more ups than downs. Thank the good Lord in Heaven for that! Normally, every year I get my dad a funny card and we laugh and its good. This year, I went a little more sentimental.


Through the years (I realize this is starting to sound like a song) my dad and I have been through a lot. We have been through graduations together, proms, weddings, new churches, practical jokes, family secrets (even some I would rather not know about), births and even a few deaths. In all of these things, I have learned valuable lessons from my dad. I have learned that boys will be boys and the heart does not literally break. That God has bigger plans that I just can't see yet. That making the decision to marry the man that I did was a good decision. That having children will be the biggest life change and what I did as a kid will come back TEN FOLD. That new beginnings are not always a bad thing. And that sometimes, when we lose someone we love, we crawl into the arms of our heavenly father and find peace and solace there. I have also learned to forgive and more so, to ask for forgiveness.


There was a time in my life when I finally saw my dad as a man and not just a preacher. A time when my dad and I became real with each other. It's a time that I will never forget b/c during that time, it shaped me into who I am today. It gave me the compassion that I have for people. It gave me the faith that I have in God. And now, as a wife, mother, daughter, and friend, it gave me the perspective that I have on life and why we were put here on earth in the first place.


Dad, I am sorry for all the craziness I put you through during those lessons I was learning but God gave me a great dad and I can't imagine having anyone else teach me, love me, or send me a letter from the county attorney b/c you thought it was funny! (and yes, that was funny) As I said in your fathers day card, thank you for being a big part of who I am today. And just so you know, every time we hug, it always makes me feel like I am a little girl again, running to sit in your lap and watch tv with you.


I love you dad! Happy Father's Day.

to be clothed or not to be clothed...

So I got child No. 2 down and in bed and asleep with no crying! I then got my No. 1 child ready for bed and in bed, however, not asleep. I let the No. 1 child know that I was going to jump in the shower. 5 minutes tops. I then informed the child that she would not need me within those 5 minutes.

I get my shower. It was great. ALL.FIVE. MINUTES. Of course I get out of the shower and I hear Child No. 2 crying and Child No. 1 SCREAMING for me. (did I mention I was only in the shower for 5 minutes?) So, here we go...

Child No. 2 was upset because she could not locate the binki. I got it for her and started her musical again and she was fine. I then ran to the bathroom where Child No. 1 was sitting on the potty... pooping. Yay! She pooped in the potty! I wipe her behind and send her off to bed once again.

Here is the thing... I had no towel wrapped around me and of course my robe was nowhere to be found. My daughter starts to sing to me "I see your boobies!" and laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world. (her daddy taught her that... I don't know why) When I turned to walk out she again started singing to me "I see your butt" and again, laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world. Of course it doesn't end there. I walk back into my bedroom and low and behold, there lies my robe on the end of my bed.

I love being a mom!

A Note for Dale...

I had such a great time with you on Tuesday! The movies were funny, the food was amazing, and the company was just out of this world! I feel so blessed that we had the opportunity to spend the entire day together.

If I had to pick a favorite part, I'm not sure what it would be. Maybe the two movies we saw at the theater where we were the only people in the theater. Maybe the part where I tried to get you to make out with me :) Maybe the part where you finally did make out with me! I also really enjoyed the meal that we cooked together and the time spent on the couch watching our THIRD movie. I also enjoyed crawling into bed with you that night and cuddling up next to you and feeling so at ease. You do that to me, most of the time anyway! And of course, the ride in the truck! Yes, that would be my favorite! You know how I feel about you, me and your truck! :)

I know that I act stupid sometimes and do things that you probably think are just weird but you love me all the same and you proved that to me once again. Thank you for being with me and putting up with my craziness! And for making out with me...

I love you

How to tell you me you love me

Take a personal day just to spend the WHOLE day with me! I love you Dale!

whew

I have tried to write the last three nights and so help me I am going to get my therapy in tonight! It has been an insane weekend.

First, I want to say hi to my new friend Ish. I met him when I ran into a store to go potty. Long story short, we both found out that we both do not like people. I told him I would blog about it but then I thought, that may be a bad idea. So, Ish, if you are reading this, I'm sorry to let you down but I really did enjoy our conversation. Also, thanks for letting me use your bathroom... what a relief.

This weekend was my daughters 4th birthday party. Birthday party's are now in the same category as Chucky Cheese. That would be the "what not to do ever again" category. We had a great time but that was a LOT of work. Thank you to everyone who came out to celebrate with us. We let all the kids make their own hats out of newspaper and we played "pin the tiara on the princess" game. We wanted to do something special for Abigail since she has been such a good big sister. Next year... it's back to the zoo.

On the flip side... all my carpet is clean and my house is the cleanest its been in a LONG time. Also, I am now 100% sure that I will be having NO MORE children! Stop the madness!

One More Time...I'm serious!!!

What is it about a 4 year old who just pushes your buttons! I love her but seriously! I am constantly telling her stop, don't, get in bed, if you ... one more time, i'm not kidding, I will spank you, i'm serious... I could go on and on. Pretty soon she will not have anything left in her room b/c all her stuff is in my room from where I keep taking it all away! Why can't I just spank her? I'm not scared. I'm not! Really, I promise I'm not! Ugh! ok ok ok, so I want to be the fun parent. Is that so bad? Yes, I know. But... I just... You don't... stop interupting me! :) (for the record, I do realize I am missing a few crayons from my box) Anyway, I really do want to be able to discipline my children but when do you know when to spank? I feel like I am constantly getting on her but they are all different things. She will stop one thing but then do something different. It's like all of a sudden she is 13 years old. She is actually 4. To be exact, her birthday was this past Tuesday. Which, by the way, was the same day I had a complete meltdown. Whatever. I can't believe she is 4 already. Here is a little something from her that happened last week. This is a conversation between daughter and daddy...


Abigail: Daddy I had Mt. Dew to drink

Daddy: You did? Who gave you Mt. Dew?

Abigail: Don't you remember daddy? You were there. It was, like, 10 years ago.... Duh daddy!


I know... laugh about it now b/c they grow up so fast and then one day they will be gone. My little princess, how precious she is! Ha!

Are You Kidding Me!

So after 9 weeks of living with a newborn...again, and after a week of "never again's" I finally have a moment to write. This may be a little lengthy :) Actually, I am just going to share what happened in my world last Tuesday night.

It all started at 6 am. Yes, 6 am. My husband and started fighting over who was going to get up with Hayden. I had 30 more minutes to sleep before getting up to go to work. 30 minutes are very crucial for me right now. I will take anytime I get to sleep. So anyway, that just threw my entire day off bc I knew things were not right with my man.

So after a non-productive day I come home and Hayden is just fussy. I get her to calm down just enough to get my shoes on and her in her seat to leave for small group. It started to pour down rain. I said forget it. I text my small group leader to let her know I wasn't coming and as soon as I hit send, it stopped raining. Of course. So I feed my oldest daughter, who turns 4 tomorrow, and I fix a bottle for Hayden. Both girls are now fed and happy for the moment. Now I am going to just give a list of events that happen....

1. Abigail accidentally kicks Hayden in the head with her knee b/c she wasn't paying attention after mommy told her stop.

2. While Hayden is crying, Abigail falls on the kitchen floor and bust her tailbone and she starts crying as well.

3. Mommy joins in on the crying.

4. Girls calm down, mommy starts dinner. Spaghetti. Easy...not really.

5. Hayden starts fussing again and of course Abigail is in constant need of something.

6. Stir noodles.

7. This goes back and forth for about an hour or so.

8. Hayden sleeps, Abigail watches cartoons.

9. Call TJ @ 9pm

10. Fix bowl of speghetti (that took hours to cook)

11. TJ calls back - 9:05 pm

12. Eat one bite of speghetti while on phone

13. 9:10pm - Abigail runs to mommy screaming "It hurts"

14. Mommy sees that Abigail has lodged an object up her nose.

15. TJ still on phone.

16. Look for tweesers where I know they are but do not see them.

17. Find them later... where I looked of course.

18. TJ comes to remove object bc Abigail will not let mommy remove it.

19. Abigail poops in pants.

20. Mommy removes wipes out of toilet with her hand bc Abigail hasn't been flushing the wipes. Yes, it was FULL of wipes. Yes, it was very gross.

21. Not even going to reveal what happens next.

22. Mommy thanks God for having friends who love her children enough to fish objects out of their nose.

23. Mommy looks on table to see a full bowl of cold spaghetti.

24. Not EVEN hungry after that!

25. Mommy now realizes why people drink.

So that is everything in a nut shell. I really think that God was initiating me into motherhood. That was just the bigining of my week. I'm not even going into the rest of my week due to the fact it would take whoever is reading this a week to get through. Today is Monday so I am just hoping and praying I do not have another week like last week.

She is FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!!

She is finally here!!! I can't even begin to say how excited I am!!! I will try not to ramble but I want to include all information plus a little on top of that :)

The child that has been awaiting to join the family has arrived! I came to the hospital last night at 9pm and we got started. First thing is getting hooked up to an IV. Once that was done, they put something in my cervix to make it soft and to help the process. At 3am, they took that out and at 4am, they gave me Patocin and about 30 minutes later the Epidural. There was no argument on that one! At 7am, my Doctor came in to see how we were doing. I was only dilated between 3 & 4 so he went ahead and broke my water. They continued to check my progress throughout the morning. At 11:15, I was dilated at 5. At about 11:45, my family arrived. Dad, Mom, Jon & Nina. At the same time, a nurse came in and said it was time to check again just to see. (I was feeling a little bit of pressure so they just wanted to check) My dad and brother stepped out and when the nurse looked to see what was going on, the head was coming out! She said I was fully dilated and ready to go. In the matter of minutes, they had me up and ready to go, the table of tools was brought in, and of course, my Doctor came in. At that time, my dear friends Tammy & Michele came in. (I had asked Tammy to take photos for me) My nurse had already told me to push once while they were bringing in the table of tools and she stood there to hold the head. I pushed about 4 really good pushes and at 12:02pm (10 minutes later) our new baby was here! As soon as she came out, they laid her on my chest and Dale got to cut the embilical chord. I cried.

I had so many emotions going through me and the only way I knew how to express them was to cry. She was so beautiful! I fell in love instantly! My husband was at my side the entire time and I was able to watch them clean her up from where I was laying. The whole thing was amazing! I started looking around and realized who was in the room with me. That's when I saw a family. Not just blood related but woman in my life who I have come to love and respect. Two woman from my lifeteam were there, my doctors wife who I absolutely adore, my mom, my sister, my husband and three nurses who did a phenomenal job, and of course, my doctor who I can't say enough great things about. I saw life so different at that moment. What a great moment to celebrate with people that I care so much about. Wow!

They took the baby to the nursery to finish things up there (the room we were in was too cold for her). About 20 minutes later, they brought her back to me and I got to feed her. She was having reflux issues so they wanted to see if eating would help. The poor thing was so tired that all she wanted to do was sleep and all I wanted to do was hold her! :) At about that time, Dale walked in and said, "are you ready?". Right behind him was Abigail. She was sooooo excited!!!! She is staying with Nanna & Pappaw and they brought her up to see her little sister. Her face was priceless. She got in the bed next to me so she could get a good look. I think it was love at first sight for the two of them. When the baby wouldn't latch on with me, the nurse brought in a bottle and Abigail got to give her the first feeding. She is going to be the best big sister ever!

It has been such an exciting day and I am exhusted but I had to write about it. It is now 4:15am and I have had time to bond with my new daughter. She is beautiful, sweet, little, and she has a head FULL of hair! We have had so many visitors already and I feel so blessed to have such good people in my life who love my family. I love all of them the same way! We have so many pictures but I am only posting one. Dale took this photo after everyone was gone and right before we sent her to the nursery. We still have no name for her but I think it is finally narrowed down to a few names. Once we get a name, I will blog about it :)

God has been so good to my family and to myself. Still thinking about the deserving factor but still so very thankful. For those of you who came by, thank you so much for coming out to celebrate with us and to show your support. I love all you so much! And for those of you who prayed for us during this time, thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!

I hope this blog isn't too crazy and all over the place (I am currently on medication). Thank you for taking time to read it and I can't wait for you all to meet our newest member of the family!!!

Thoughts on Life

So it's finally here. Tonight I am going to the hospital. I can't believe that I am about to push a new life into this world. I'm pretty sure God is laughing at me right now! He has a funny sense of humor. As I'm writing this, I can see my husband and my 3 year old daughter cuddled up in "his chair". I have never been so in love like I am right now. My husband is an amazing man. I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for him. Then there is the love I feel for my daughter. Wow! I can't even process it all. It's true when they say that when you have kids you wear your heart on your sleeve. I don't know how to explain it. It's definitely a different kind of love. It's how I imagine that God loves us. Unconditionally. And then, theres the child that is waiting to meet her new family. I know I will love her just as much. I can't help but wonder why God chooses who he chooses to have children. There are so many people out there who would make an amazing mom or dad and for whatever reason, God hasn't called them to be parents. What makes me so qualified? I can't help but ask myself that everyday. I am blessed to have healthy children, a husband who loves me like none other, parents who are still in love and alive. I have so many blessings and I'm not sure I deserve them. I am very thankful just not sure that I'm deserving. I don't know. These are just thoughts in my head as I wait for 9pm to come around.