The Friend.

So to lighten things up after my last post I want to post a story that happened the other day involving a phone conversation between me and my friend. Real names (tj) will not be used to protect the not so innocent.


Me: Hi


Friend: (sounding frazzled) I can't find my phone!


Me: Ummmm, your cell phone?


Friend: Yes! I can't find it!


Me: Would it possibly be the phone you are talking on now?


Friend: *Silence*


Me: Oh this is so FB worthy!


Friend: You suck.


I love you my nameless (tj) friend!

Grandpa Scott.

I miss you so much!!! I will never forget the night you died. You and grandma were watching me because mom and dad were at camp. I loved coming to your house. You would always take me to school with you and when the college boys flirted with me, you would tell them they were too old for me and to stay away. Then you would giggle. You called me your blonde bomb shell. I always felt so special with you. I even remember the time I got in trouble for putting paper in the crack of the secretary that you refinished. You couldn’t spank me because I smiled at you. I always knew how to get out of trouble with you :).I remember the little things: like when you would give me Vienna sausages and I called them Little Hot Dogs. I remember being at your house the first time I met Corey & Laura. Laura, since I have started this letter, got really sick and she passed away. It was so hard on everyone and made me think of you a lot. There was a time I walked down the hospital hallway after she had passed and it took me back to when I was 5 years old, standing in the hallway after you passed. It made me feel so small. Please give her a hug for me.

I remember the night you died like it happened yesterday. It’s funny how years later the things you want to remember you can’t and things you don’t, you do. I remember sitting on your couch. It was against the wall to right coming out of the kitchen. You sat down next to me and I climbed into your lap. Did you know then that it would be the last time that we would see each other? I remember you smiled at me and it would always warm my heart and make me happy. You had salt & pepper hair. On your head AND in your beard. You told me that you had a doctors appointment and had to leave. Little did I know that doctor offices closed at 5pm and it was close to 9pm. I know this because it was dark outside and it was summer time. You put me back on the couch and I remember watching you kiss grandma goodbye. I wonder if she resents me for not being able to go with you. Maybe she would have been able to say goodbye before you passed away. When you walked out the door, I went running after you and said, “I love you! I will see you later!” You turned to me and said I love you too. The next thing I remember was Mark and grandma arguing over who was going to drive to the hospital. Mark had his license taken away and grandma was too upset to drive. I don’t remember who drove but I can, to this day, see darkness all around me as I sat in the backseat. I remember watching the street lights as they passed and I knew something was wrong. I don’t remember getting out of the car or walking in but I do, however, remember sitting in a small room with a doctor and grandma. There was a desk that the doctor sat behind and grandma sat next to me close to the door. There was a Jesus picture on the wall that she kept staring at and a box of tissues on the corner of the desk. As I watched her stare at the picture, I could see the desperation on her face. She looked so much older than she really was. I don’t remember if she ever even spoke a word but the doctor did a lot of talking but to this day, I couldn’t tell you what he said. It was almost like the teacher on Charlie Brown when she would talk. You hear noise but no clarity with her words.

When we left the office, we walked down what seemed like a big, white hallway. I didn’t see anything there but white walls and white floors. We came to a waiting room where I saw my mom and dad sitting on a couch. Mom was sitting with her hands around her belly and dad was sitting with his head in his hands and was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He and mom had been crying. They made me wait in the hallway and Mark stayed there with me. I’m not sure if they made me or if I just wasn’t allowed to go in. They probably didn’t want me to see you in a hospital bed. After going through what I went through with Laura, it was probably good that I didn’t see you at that young of an age. However, at one point I was left alone so I peeked inside to see what was going on. It’s kind of funny because during this whole time, I don’t remember seeing anything other than white walls, white floors, a couch, and you in a bed. Everything seemed to white and clean. I bet you are white and clean now. How beautiful! Anyway, when I peeked in, I saw you lying in a bed covered up with a white blanket. Grandma was standing to the left of you with her hand on your hand. Dad was on the right of you and was crying. Mom was next to him. Mark was walking in and was standing a bit away from you. I don’t think he knew what to do. He was so young when it happened.

I remember the visitation. I was playing tag in the foyer with some other kids whose job was to watch me and I ran into where the casket was and jumped up against it. It began to rock and then I felt dad grab my arm and make me sit down. I knew I was in trouble but I also knew that you would have laughed had you seen it. I can here you know, “don’t spank that sweet little girl” Lol. I don’t remember the funeral or the burial. I’m not sure I was even there. I was so sad that I couldn’t see you anymore. I have asked both mom and dad if they remember but they don’t. I think it was a crazy day for everyone.

As I got older, I would ask questions about you. I know how you and grandma met. How you got married. How you got divorced and then remarried. I also know about the mental illnesses that you all had. When we go to visit Joe and Patty, Laura would take me to your grave site. It became the place where we would go to sneak and smoke. But don’t tell anyone :) You would have had so much fun with me and Laura. We would have made you smile.

I remember one time shortly after you died, mom, dad and I went to visit your grave site. Dad was the only one who got out. I believe it was raining outside and I was sitting in the car behind mom’s seat. I could see out the windshield and there you were kneeling at the site and crying. I felt so sad for you. I couldn’t imagine loosing my dad at such a young age. You know when people ask if you could talk with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be, my answer is always you. Dad and I are so close and I know we can talk about you anytime but sometimes it’s good to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth :) One day though we will sit and talk and we will have forever to catch up.

You were almost done with school when you passed away so they gave you a diploma anyway. Dad accepted it for you and as he walked across the stage people started cheering for you. It was amazing to be a part of that. Everyone was so proud of you. Including me.

So much has happened since you have been gone. I can’t believe it has been almost 25 years. I graduated high school at Scott County High. We moved from Mt. Sterling to Louisville to Georgetown. Grandma lived with us for awhile. She didn’t do so good after you died. She passed away about 13 years ago. She lived in Mexico and she had the flu. They didn’t have the ability to take care of her and she went septic. She is buried somewhere in Mexico. We didn’t have a service or anything for her. But I know the two of you are together now and probably driving Jesus crazy! Lol. I was 16 when she passed away and I was a little jealous of her because I knew she was with you. I went through the same thing with Laura too. Give grandma a big hug for me and tell her I love her.

Mom had another baby, a girl, Christina Grace. We call her Nina. She is 8 years younger than Jon and 14 years younger than me. I don’t know what they were thinking having another baby at that point and I’m pretty sure they were thinking the same thing but we are happy to have her. I got married in 2003 and we now have two girls. You would love them! They are so rotten. They completely adore dad (grandpa) and of course, they get away with everything. I love to watch dad with the girls. It reminds me so much of our relationship.

Dad is doing well. He is still preaching and God is doing awesome things through his ministry. You would be so proud of him. Our church runs about 1200 and still growing. He also looks just like you. The grey hair, the beard, the face. When he smiles his entire face lights up just like yours did.

Mom is doing good as well. God is working through her too. She is an amazing mother and dad pretty awesome too. I am so blessed to have them both as parents. You did a good job raising dad.

I recently had a dream about you. It was so real and you were posed as a homeless man. What is really cool is I went to Nashville a couple of months ago and talked with a homeless man that looked just like you. That was after the dream happened. In the dream we were in a big house that had glass everywhere and it was all white. Grandma was there too but you were so prominent. We talked and it was almost like you had been watching me all these years. Making sure I was ok. I didn’t want to wake up but there was so much comfort there when I did. I think God gave me that dream.

I miss you so much but I know I will see you one day and you will be one of the first to greet me when I get there. Dad will be there too. I hope that I will be able to have a glimpse of that reunion. It will be beautiful and oh so special!

Love,
Elizabeth – Your blonde bomb shell

7.7.77

Every year, July 7th comes around and every year, I get excited about celebrating my husbands birthday. The problem is, he does not get as excited as I do about it. You see, when my birthday comes around, I want a week long celebration. It's a day to get excited about. It's his birthday!

I just want him to know that I am excited about celebrating the day he came into this world. Had he not been born, I would never had the amazing opportunity to meet him. To marry him. To have his beautiful children. I wouldn't get the chance to say what an amazing father he is to our two fascinating daughters. Or how much fun I have when it's sunday night and we are all sitting in the living room watching the disney channel, for 3 hours, before we realize that WE are the adults and have the power to change the channel. Or how my heart completely melts and breaks at the same time when I look over and see Abigail asleep, cuddled up in his lap. Or how when we lay in bed at night and I get nervous wondering if he still likes me.

I know he hates to have his birthday made out to be a big deal but I can't help but to be excited about the day he was brought into this world. I just wanted to share these thoughts with those of you who read this blog and, of course, to the love of my life. Life is a beautiful reason to celebrate and what better way to celebrate than with those who love you!

Happy Birthday Dale. I love you more than you will ever know! My prayer is that you have a wonderful day and know that you are surround by people who appreciate and love you.

Conversations With Abigail, 01

Abigail: Mommy, why are girl boobies bigger than boy boobies?

Mommy: Well, girls have hormones (what was I thinking telling my 4 yr old that?)

Abigail: What are hormones?

Husband: Can I try this one?

Mommy: [thinking: I can't wait to hear this]

Husband: Girl boobies are bigger b/c that is how they feed the babies. Only girls can do that, not boys.

Abigail: [lifts up shirt to look at her own chest. looks over at mommies chest.]

Abigail: Oh, ok.

.....................................................................................................................................

Abigail: Mommy, did you know there is a man on the moon?

Mommy: There is? How did he get there?

Abigail: Jesus put him there.

Mommy: Why is he there?

Abigail: He drives the moon away when the sun comes out.

......................................................................................................................................

Abigail: He pees funny.

Mommy: What?

Abigail: He has a tail with a hole in it and when he lets go, pee comes out.

Mommy: WHAT?!

......................................................................................................................................

Abigail: Mommy, when Tori came outside she looked beautiful.

Mommy: Did you tell her that?

Abigail: No... I wanted to but I was just too shy.

Mommy: Why were you too shy? You love Miss Tori.

Abigail: I didn't want to get embarrassed.

Mommy: How do you know if you are embarrassed?

Abigail: When your eyebrows go up, that means you are embarrassed.

Mommy: ok.

....................................................................................................................................

Abigail: Mommy, did I have a big sister too when I was little?

Mommy: No honey, you are the first born. So am I. We have that in common. That is why I get sad that you keep growing bc one day you are going to be big and I won't be able to hold you anymore.

Abigail: I tell you what mommy, when I grow up, we can still play together. But we have to get grown up toys.

Mommy: What are grown up toys?

Abigail: hmmm, lawnmowers and weedeaters...

Mommy: That sounds like daddy's toys, what about mommy's toys?

Abigail: You like to watch tv.

Mommy: Well what about the washing machine and dryer (i was doing laundry during this conversation)

Abigail: That's not play mommy, that's work!

Mommy: Oh, so you think when daddy is working in the yard that he is really playing?

Abigail: yeah mommy!

To The Headley-Whitney Girls (and the really creepy guy)

This picture was taken on my first day of my new job after leaving the Headley-Whitney Museum. I worked at the museum for a year and during that time, I met some pretty fabulous women. Slightly weird and a little clumsy but each very unique in their own way and like I said, fabulous!

Tonight, I attended a going away party for two of those fabulous girls. They are both heading off to grad school. One to New York and the other to Florida. I am so proud of these girls and I know that they are going to go very far and they are going to leave a legacy for their friends and family.

I was already at the museum when both girls were hired and had the wonderful opportunity to work with them for almost a year. I remember the first time I met Amanda. I felt a little intimidated by her b/c she seemed so well put together and like she had it all figured out. Then I got to know her. LOL! What a joy it has been to be able to say that I am friends with THIS GIRL! I have never laughed so hard in my life with her stories and quirky ways. I'm sure she doesn't know this but she brought the kid out in me and taught me to be free and to live life now. Thank you Amanda for being the wonderful, quirky person that you are. Do not ever change.

Then there is Jessica. I don't even know where to start with this girl. Maybe I will start by saying that she needs to be in a bubble! I have never met anyone in my life who gets hurt in the strangest ways as this girl (if you are reading this, know I love you!) Jessica started out as part time and I will always be able to remember what she looks like by her eye makeup. She truly is an artist and I aspire to be as talented as her... but on a computer :) I am convinced that this girl can do anything she puts her mind to. I have seen her in action in putting an exhibit together and I stand back and think 'wow, I would be pulling my hair out right now if I was her'. Jessica has taught me to be creative with what I have and make it work.

My time at the museum created some of the best memories I have. I'm sure this goes without saying but lunch time was my favorite. We would all eat lunch together and it never failed, Amanda ALWAYS had a great story! Finally, someone else with tons of stories to share. We would laugh until we peed and even got in trouble for laughing too loud. I truly am surprised that Jessica never fell out of her chair during these times.

Amanda & Jessica, I am so proud of both of you. I'm only about 10% jealous and 90% happy for you :) I really do wish the best for you both and if you ever feel overwhelmed and that you just can't do it anymore, whatever that may be, read this blog or call me and I will remind you of how fabulous you are while the sound of screaming children ring in the background, that is of course, before I lock them in the closet :)

Keep the memories, store them away, and then, one day, when you need a smile, bring them out and laugh while visions of George (or creepy man) dance in your head.

to my dad

Most of the people who will read this know about my relationship with my dad. We have had our ups and downs and now that I am an adult, we have more ups than downs. Thank the good Lord in Heaven for that! Normally, every year I get my dad a funny card and we laugh and its good. This year, I went a little more sentimental.


Through the years (I realize this is starting to sound like a song) my dad and I have been through a lot. We have been through graduations together, proms, weddings, new churches, practical jokes, family secrets (even some I would rather not know about), births and even a few deaths. In all of these things, I have learned valuable lessons from my dad. I have learned that boys will be boys and the heart does not literally break. That God has bigger plans that I just can't see yet. That making the decision to marry the man that I did was a good decision. That having children will be the biggest life change and what I did as a kid will come back TEN FOLD. That new beginnings are not always a bad thing. And that sometimes, when we lose someone we love, we crawl into the arms of our heavenly father and find peace and solace there. I have also learned to forgive and more so, to ask for forgiveness.


There was a time in my life when I finally saw my dad as a man and not just a preacher. A time when my dad and I became real with each other. It's a time that I will never forget b/c during that time, it shaped me into who I am today. It gave me the compassion that I have for people. It gave me the faith that I have in God. And now, as a wife, mother, daughter, and friend, it gave me the perspective that I have on life and why we were put here on earth in the first place.


Dad, I am sorry for all the craziness I put you through during those lessons I was learning but God gave me a great dad and I can't imagine having anyone else teach me, love me, or send me a letter from the county attorney b/c you thought it was funny! (and yes, that was funny) As I said in your fathers day card, thank you for being a big part of who I am today. And just so you know, every time we hug, it always makes me feel like I am a little girl again, running to sit in your lap and watch tv with you.


I love you dad! Happy Father's Day.

to be clothed or not to be clothed...

So I got child No. 2 down and in bed and asleep with no crying! I then got my No. 1 child ready for bed and in bed, however, not asleep. I let the No. 1 child know that I was going to jump in the shower. 5 minutes tops. I then informed the child that she would not need me within those 5 minutes.

I get my shower. It was great. ALL.FIVE. MINUTES. Of course I get out of the shower and I hear Child No. 2 crying and Child No. 1 SCREAMING for me. (did I mention I was only in the shower for 5 minutes?) So, here we go...

Child No. 2 was upset because she could not locate the binki. I got it for her and started her musical again and she was fine. I then ran to the bathroom where Child No. 1 was sitting on the potty... pooping. Yay! She pooped in the potty! I wipe her behind and send her off to bed once again.

Here is the thing... I had no towel wrapped around me and of course my robe was nowhere to be found. My daughter starts to sing to me "I see your boobies!" and laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world. (her daddy taught her that... I don't know why) When I turned to walk out she again started singing to me "I see your butt" and again, laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world. Of course it doesn't end there. I walk back into my bedroom and low and behold, there lies my robe on the end of my bed.

I love being a mom!

A Note for Dale...

I had such a great time with you on Tuesday! The movies were funny, the food was amazing, and the company was just out of this world! I feel so blessed that we had the opportunity to spend the entire day together.

If I had to pick a favorite part, I'm not sure what it would be. Maybe the two movies we saw at the theater where we were the only people in the theater. Maybe the part where I tried to get you to make out with me :) Maybe the part where you finally did make out with me! I also really enjoyed the meal that we cooked together and the time spent on the couch watching our THIRD movie. I also enjoyed crawling into bed with you that night and cuddling up next to you and feeling so at ease. You do that to me, most of the time anyway! And of course, the ride in the truck! Yes, that would be my favorite! You know how I feel about you, me and your truck! :)

I know that I act stupid sometimes and do things that you probably think are just weird but you love me all the same and you proved that to me once again. Thank you for being with me and putting up with my craziness! And for making out with me...

I love you

How to tell you me you love me

Take a personal day just to spend the WHOLE day with me! I love you Dale!

whew

I have tried to write the last three nights and so help me I am going to get my therapy in tonight! It has been an insane weekend.

First, I want to say hi to my new friend Ish. I met him when I ran into a store to go potty. Long story short, we both found out that we both do not like people. I told him I would blog about it but then I thought, that may be a bad idea. So, Ish, if you are reading this, I'm sorry to let you down but I really did enjoy our conversation. Also, thanks for letting me use your bathroom... what a relief.

This weekend was my daughters 4th birthday party. Birthday party's are now in the same category as Chucky Cheese. That would be the "what not to do ever again" category. We had a great time but that was a LOT of work. Thank you to everyone who came out to celebrate with us. We let all the kids make their own hats out of newspaper and we played "pin the tiara on the princess" game. We wanted to do something special for Abigail since she has been such a good big sister. Next year... it's back to the zoo.

On the flip side... all my carpet is clean and my house is the cleanest its been in a LONG time. Also, I am now 100% sure that I will be having NO MORE children! Stop the madness!

One More Time...I'm serious!!!

What is it about a 4 year old who just pushes your buttons! I love her but seriously! I am constantly telling her stop, don't, get in bed, if you ... one more time, i'm not kidding, I will spank you, i'm serious... I could go on and on. Pretty soon she will not have anything left in her room b/c all her stuff is in my room from where I keep taking it all away! Why can't I just spank her? I'm not scared. I'm not! Really, I promise I'm not! Ugh! ok ok ok, so I want to be the fun parent. Is that so bad? Yes, I know. But... I just... You don't... stop interupting me! :) (for the record, I do realize I am missing a few crayons from my box) Anyway, I really do want to be able to discipline my children but when do you know when to spank? I feel like I am constantly getting on her but they are all different things. She will stop one thing but then do something different. It's like all of a sudden she is 13 years old. She is actually 4. To be exact, her birthday was this past Tuesday. Which, by the way, was the same day I had a complete meltdown. Whatever. I can't believe she is 4 already. Here is a little something from her that happened last week. This is a conversation between daughter and daddy...


Abigail: Daddy I had Mt. Dew to drink

Daddy: You did? Who gave you Mt. Dew?

Abigail: Don't you remember daddy? You were there. It was, like, 10 years ago.... Duh daddy!


I know... laugh about it now b/c they grow up so fast and then one day they will be gone. My little princess, how precious she is! Ha!

Are You Kidding Me!

So after 9 weeks of living with a newborn...again, and after a week of "never again's" I finally have a moment to write. This may be a little lengthy :) Actually, I am just going to share what happened in my world last Tuesday night.

It all started at 6 am. Yes, 6 am. My husband and started fighting over who was going to get up with Hayden. I had 30 more minutes to sleep before getting up to go to work. 30 minutes are very crucial for me right now. I will take anytime I get to sleep. So anyway, that just threw my entire day off bc I knew things were not right with my man.

So after a non-productive day I come home and Hayden is just fussy. I get her to calm down just enough to get my shoes on and her in her seat to leave for small group. It started to pour down rain. I said forget it. I text my small group leader to let her know I wasn't coming and as soon as I hit send, it stopped raining. Of course. So I feed my oldest daughter, who turns 4 tomorrow, and I fix a bottle for Hayden. Both girls are now fed and happy for the moment. Now I am going to just give a list of events that happen....

1. Abigail accidentally kicks Hayden in the head with her knee b/c she wasn't paying attention after mommy told her stop.

2. While Hayden is crying, Abigail falls on the kitchen floor and bust her tailbone and she starts crying as well.

3. Mommy joins in on the crying.

4. Girls calm down, mommy starts dinner. Spaghetti. Easy...not really.

5. Hayden starts fussing again and of course Abigail is in constant need of something.

6. Stir noodles.

7. This goes back and forth for about an hour or so.

8. Hayden sleeps, Abigail watches cartoons.

9. Call TJ @ 9pm

10. Fix bowl of speghetti (that took hours to cook)

11. TJ calls back - 9:05 pm

12. Eat one bite of speghetti while on phone

13. 9:10pm - Abigail runs to mommy screaming "It hurts"

14. Mommy sees that Abigail has lodged an object up her nose.

15. TJ still on phone.

16. Look for tweesers where I know they are but do not see them.

17. Find them later... where I looked of course.

18. TJ comes to remove object bc Abigail will not let mommy remove it.

19. Abigail poops in pants.

20. Mommy removes wipes out of toilet with her hand bc Abigail hasn't been flushing the wipes. Yes, it was FULL of wipes. Yes, it was very gross.

21. Not even going to reveal what happens next.

22. Mommy thanks God for having friends who love her children enough to fish objects out of their nose.

23. Mommy looks on table to see a full bowl of cold spaghetti.

24. Not EVEN hungry after that!

25. Mommy now realizes why people drink.

So that is everything in a nut shell. I really think that God was initiating me into motherhood. That was just the bigining of my week. I'm not even going into the rest of my week due to the fact it would take whoever is reading this a week to get through. Today is Monday so I am just hoping and praying I do not have another week like last week.

She is FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!!

She is finally here!!! I can't even begin to say how excited I am!!! I will try not to ramble but I want to include all information plus a little on top of that :)

The child that has been awaiting to join the family has arrived! I came to the hospital last night at 9pm and we got started. First thing is getting hooked up to an IV. Once that was done, they put something in my cervix to make it soft and to help the process. At 3am, they took that out and at 4am, they gave me Patocin and about 30 minutes later the Epidural. There was no argument on that one! At 7am, my Doctor came in to see how we were doing. I was only dilated between 3 & 4 so he went ahead and broke my water. They continued to check my progress throughout the morning. At 11:15, I was dilated at 5. At about 11:45, my family arrived. Dad, Mom, Jon & Nina. At the same time, a nurse came in and said it was time to check again just to see. (I was feeling a little bit of pressure so they just wanted to check) My dad and brother stepped out and when the nurse looked to see what was going on, the head was coming out! She said I was fully dilated and ready to go. In the matter of minutes, they had me up and ready to go, the table of tools was brought in, and of course, my Doctor came in. At that time, my dear friends Tammy & Michele came in. (I had asked Tammy to take photos for me) My nurse had already told me to push once while they were bringing in the table of tools and she stood there to hold the head. I pushed about 4 really good pushes and at 12:02pm (10 minutes later) our new baby was here! As soon as she came out, they laid her on my chest and Dale got to cut the embilical chord. I cried.

I had so many emotions going through me and the only way I knew how to express them was to cry. She was so beautiful! I fell in love instantly! My husband was at my side the entire time and I was able to watch them clean her up from where I was laying. The whole thing was amazing! I started looking around and realized who was in the room with me. That's when I saw a family. Not just blood related but woman in my life who I have come to love and respect. Two woman from my lifeteam were there, my doctors wife who I absolutely adore, my mom, my sister, my husband and three nurses who did a phenomenal job, and of course, my doctor who I can't say enough great things about. I saw life so different at that moment. What a great moment to celebrate with people that I care so much about. Wow!

They took the baby to the nursery to finish things up there (the room we were in was too cold for her). About 20 minutes later, they brought her back to me and I got to feed her. She was having reflux issues so they wanted to see if eating would help. The poor thing was so tired that all she wanted to do was sleep and all I wanted to do was hold her! :) At about that time, Dale walked in and said, "are you ready?". Right behind him was Abigail. She was sooooo excited!!!! She is staying with Nanna & Pappaw and they brought her up to see her little sister. Her face was priceless. She got in the bed next to me so she could get a good look. I think it was love at first sight for the two of them. When the baby wouldn't latch on with me, the nurse brought in a bottle and Abigail got to give her the first feeding. She is going to be the best big sister ever!

It has been such an exciting day and I am exhusted but I had to write about it. It is now 4:15am and I have had time to bond with my new daughter. She is beautiful, sweet, little, and she has a head FULL of hair! We have had so many visitors already and I feel so blessed to have such good people in my life who love my family. I love all of them the same way! We have so many pictures but I am only posting one. Dale took this photo after everyone was gone and right before we sent her to the nursery. We still have no name for her but I think it is finally narrowed down to a few names. Once we get a name, I will blog about it :)

God has been so good to my family and to myself. Still thinking about the deserving factor but still so very thankful. For those of you who came by, thank you so much for coming out to celebrate with us and to show your support. I love all you so much! And for those of you who prayed for us during this time, thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!

I hope this blog isn't too crazy and all over the place (I am currently on medication). Thank you for taking time to read it and I can't wait for you all to meet our newest member of the family!!!

Thoughts on Life

So it's finally here. Tonight I am going to the hospital. I can't believe that I am about to push a new life into this world. I'm pretty sure God is laughing at me right now! He has a funny sense of humor. As I'm writing this, I can see my husband and my 3 year old daughter cuddled up in "his chair". I have never been so in love like I am right now. My husband is an amazing man. I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for him. Then there is the love I feel for my daughter. Wow! I can't even process it all. It's true when they say that when you have kids you wear your heart on your sleeve. I don't know how to explain it. It's definitely a different kind of love. It's how I imagine that God loves us. Unconditionally. And then, theres the child that is waiting to meet her new family. I know I will love her just as much. I can't help but wonder why God chooses who he chooses to have children. There are so many people out there who would make an amazing mom or dad and for whatever reason, God hasn't called them to be parents. What makes me so qualified? I can't help but ask myself that everyday. I am blessed to have healthy children, a husband who loves me like none other, parents who are still in love and alive. I have so many blessings and I'm not sure I deserve them. I am very thankful just not sure that I'm deserving. I don't know. These are just thoughts in my head as I wait for 9pm to come around.

Footsteps

The day we had "all that snow" I was able to be home a little longer than normal and I got to help get Abigail ready for Nanna's house. I woke her up and told her I had a surprise for her. We walked over to the window and opened the blinds. The look on her face when she saw all the snow. She was sooo excited! So of course, we got out the snowsuit. We were all ready to go and she looked up at me and said "Mommy, can I walk in your footsteps?" She was talking about in the snow b/c she thought it was too deep for her. With tears in my eyes I said, "Of course you can"

When I was looking for a picture to post with this particular blog, I came across a video of her playing in her Johnny Jump-Up. Not even old enough to talk and now, here she is, 3 years old and not only talking and walking but teaching me life lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I think about the times when I feel like the snow is so deep and I just look to God and say those same words... Can I walk in your footsteps b/c I'm afraid it's just too deep. Being a mom is one of those times. When she tests me and I'm ready to explode. When I feel overwhelmed with everything I have to do, with her at my side and a husband at work all night. Even the wonderful, amazing stuff when I feel like my heart is just going to explode. Then I think about her growing up one day and then she's gone. Did I do a good job raising her? Is she safe where she is right now? What kind of influences are in her life? Again, I will have to look to God and say, It's a little deep right now... would you mind if I once again walk in your footsteps.

I feel so blessed to learn all the lessons that I have already and I welcome the ones to come. So, anytime my daughter says, "Mommy, can I walk in your footsteps?" I will look at her say, "of course, sweetheart, anytime you need to" and then say a silent prayer that God will layout his footsteps for me to follow so I can lead my daughter.

First NFL Game

This past weekend, Dale and I had a chance to get away for the weekend. He had gotten tickets from his Brother, Tim, to go see the Colts play. It was perfect for us b/c he got to see an NFL game and I got to be in the city. We had a blast! We stayed at a Bed & Breakfast that was fabulous. It was cozy and sweet and the breakfast was sooo good. We were able to go to the Slippery Noodle on Saturday night. The SN is a blues club that apparently is the hot spot of Indy. The music was amazing. I could have listened to that musician sing and play all night. Dale and I found a spot in the back corner where we sat and talked and listened to music. It was so nice to connect with him. Just to be able to talk and look at him with no interuptions. Sunday morning, we headed out to meet some friends of ours who were going to the game with us. The game was sooo cool! It was the first NFL game for all of us so we were pretty excited. We are also very excited about the fact that the stadium is indoor! :) The row behind us was the very last row. There was no more going up. It was kinda scary going up that far but totally worth it. It was so much fun to see the players interact with each other and the crowd before the game. There was even a proposal on the field. Awww, how sweet... Anyway, we totally kicked the Bengals butt all the way home. It was sad actually.

We had such a great time and I think we are going to make it a tradition every year to go back. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect weekend. Oh yeah, I lost my phone Saturday night at the mall. I was pretty upset about it and when we were leaving to head out of the city, Dale got a phone call saying they found my phone. Someone turned it in. How lucky did I get with that! I almost cried I was so excited.

I can't wait to do it all again. It was perfect and I know Dale and I both were way overdue for a break. It's amazing what a little bit of alone time can do for a relationship.

Rambling Words...

So today, I was thinking (no comments please) about the little things that could set someone off on a bad day. It all started when I had to get a new role of toilet paper. You know how you have to first find where it starts and then it gets all torn up while you try to unravel that first sheet. I don't know how many times I have had a bad day and then toilet paper is what sets me off!

Also, today, I decided that I was going to dye my own hair. I can't afford to go to a professional right now so I made my way to Sally's, picked out a color, and of course, called my best friend. Who better to help me change my hair color. Well, last time I tried to "fix" my hair myself, the blonde streaks that were left turned green. I was pregnant. I swore I would never do my own hair again. So, here I am, pregnant... again, blonde streaks that are down to my ears, and buying hair dye. Yay! This is going to be great! I picked a blonde color so my streaks would blend in and thought I would surprise my husband (he likes it when I'm blonde) So Ally (best friend) comes to my house (after she bought me a birthday dinner... thank you!) and off we went. We put the dye in, wait, check on the kids, wait some more and then it was time...
Rinse, Blowdry, and Voala! I am now a red head. Not sure what happened there but at least the streaks are now gone. No more doing my hair myself. Maybe one day I will learn.

Oh yeah, and my daughter pooped in her underwear... twice... in 30 minutes. That story is for another night. A night when I will be able to sit down with a glass of wine and laugh all about it.

For My Mom...

Tonight I had the great opportunity to go to the Girlfriends Unlimited-November Bash. First of all, if my birthday on Monday completely bombs... tonight will totally make up for it! I had a blast. I left work thinking that I wish I didn't have to go and I am so glad that I did. I really needed it, that's for sure! Anyway, during the amazing worship service, I was looking around and seeing all the women that had come out who were worshiping and laughing and having such a great time and I realized that it has now been 11 years that we (The Scott Family) have been at Harmony. Wow. I see all the things that God is doing through my parents and all the staff and volunteers. However, this one is for my mom. She has allowed God to work through her with the women's ministry and it is so important. Women need women. I can't say it enough. We need those relationships. I don't know anyone who better describes a true woman than my mother. Her compassion, her patience, her willingness, her determination. I could go on and on. She has taught me the importance of friendships with other women and how to also treat other women. Delicately. She has taught me to listen to other women when they need listening. To give Godly advice, only when advice is needed. And most importantly, she taught me how to just be a friend to another woman. Thank you, mom. I love you!

slight giggle

This is for those of you who know my daughter. I like to call this one "Things that disappear quickly are very humorous!"

Imagine this...

Sitting on a king size bed working on your computer.
3 year old daughter in green pj's jumping around.
You keep saying "you are going to get hurt".
You see something green fly off the bed and disappear.
Slight giggling comes from your own mouth.
You then see a head appear quickly over the bed
3 year old informs you that she is ok.
"See mommy, I didn't get hurt"

You are your father's child!

Ughh...

Last weekend, I got the chance to go to a babyshower for a girl I new and haven't seen for 10 years. I was really nervous about going for a lot of reasons but mostly b/c 10 years is a long time and people change. It ended up being a very nice shower and she was happy to see me. She looked so great and seemed to be doing well. The shower was held at the church my dad preached at for 7 years. When we moved, I had just turned 16, 3 days before. Needless to say, I was not happy about it. I have been back a few times over the years but for some reason, this particular trip was the hardest. There were a few other people there that I got to see and talk with. We caught up on family news and what we have been doing which is always nice. After the shower officially started, I realized that I felt so out of place. We had to go around the room and talk about how we knew the mom-to-be. Everyone there was family or close friends. She and I were "close friends" at one point. I know better than anyone that you can "never go back" but the shower really brought that home for me. I moved away and life continued on. As it should. But then I couldn't help but wonder, was it just as hard for them as it was for me? Was I a "good enough" friend that they missed me as much as I missed them? Why do people lose touch? And then, why do we feel the need to go back and think it's going to be ok?

On my way home, all the feelings I had 10 years ago as I was leaving Louisville for the final time, with my room packed up and my friends in the rearview mirror, the feelings came back. I felt like I was 16 all over again. It was so overwhelming. How does the heart not litterally break and how do you get over it? You finally get to the point where you are not bitter and 10 years of healing are gone in one day. At least it feels that way. Thankfully, along the way, God put strong, couragous people in my life to help me realize that life does not stop at a stand still so you can stay in your "happy place". It's ok to visit, I guess, but is it ok to avoid something just to keep from getting hurt. Isn't getting hurt part of what makes us grow? Personally, spiritually, even professionally. If that's the case then I should be fully grown with no more lessons to learn! Ha!

Anyway, I just felt the need to talk about it. Whatever. It is what it is.